I totally missed my entire late teenage years and 20’s being single, supposedly the prime time of your life when you are meant to get out there and have fun, date lots of people, when you are meant to work out who and what is right and wrong for you, have your first proper heartbreak, learn from it, get better, date differently… meet the love of your life? I missed it all and navigating dating in your 30’s with no prior experience is especially hard work, I had no idea what I was doing and I wasn’t even sure at that point what it was that I wanted, I occasionally wonder if I even know now. I remember texting my friends telling them I was getting out there, ‘YES!’, ‘How exciting!’ came the replies, egging me on, making me more sure of my decision to attempt it.
I hadn’t ever dated previously, ever, apart from ‘dating’ my ex and I was a teenager when I met him, barely in high school and so our entire dating story consisted of meeting each other underage in a pub, deciding we liked each other and then we just hung out for the next 20 years. I had no idea how I was meant to be treated or how people date now, this does not serve me well as you will find out in future blogs.
The online dating world was much harder to navigate than I thought… Online dating is the ‘in thing’ apparently, no one ever meets anywhere else these days so everyone told me, ‘You have to get on the apps, you are never going to meet a guy in the library’. Still, something about judging people by a brief look at photos online as to whether you even wanted to even say hi to them didn’t sit right with me. Organically meeting a guy would always be my preference but I have a busy life at work and at home, the recommendations seemed legitimate and it did seem to be an ‘easier’ way to meet people.
The first step of deciding which app to download, was itself a challenge, there are a lot! Some are more well known than others but I first went with the 2 apps that people had recommended online or that my single friends had suggested I take a look at and so in my wisdom I decided to just download both and see what one I preferred. I logged onto the sites, feeling ever intrigued and maybe even slightly hopeful, wondering if I might actually find some decent people to chat too and eventually date.
So I downloaded the apps, uploaded a couple of photos and a short bio (Does anyone ever read these?) I set my parameters to age 30-40, thinking in my wisdom that dating guys this age meant I would be more likely to meet more well rounded guys who knew what they wanted with life, what a laugh that turned out to be haha (more about that in future blogs) and I set my distance to no more than 50km away, willing to make the effort to travel to meet guys but also realising that its easier to date people closer by and I started swiping…